Gone

I hide in the dark even before the morning starts. Closed blinds, lock the door, I'm trying to lock the fear out before I hit the floor. The hours fly by in the blink of an eye. Silence surrounds me like a cold hug, and I loose myself inside a book, or daydreaming of moments of happiness I believe shall never come true. My heart beats weak and worn out when the body remembers I still breathe. So I step out of my bed for strange moments, walk around briefly just to realise again that no food can make this end, it's all foreign and absent to my will. So I challenge death again and force myself to eat something, just anything that keeps me from recognizing the pain in the void. The world keeps spinning at the same pace yet it's past 10pm and I just remember how the lights of dawn were hurting me a few minutes ago... Gone. One more day, gone. And I sit here by the phone, can't move. Trapped like a fly in my own spider web.